After my initial silly rant on here (see The women we love to hate), I opened up the forum through my facebook page to friends of mine who are mums. Here's what one of them had to say:
"I think all mums feel so much pressure to not only be a good mum (which is what really counts) but to have a perfect house and look perfect too! I also think the same pressure applies to pregnancy! People feel that they should bloom for the whole nine months and so quite often lie through their teeth about how they're feeling! Woman myself included feel like a failure and that they're being ungrateful if they admit that they don't enjoy pregnancy and if they find it hard they feel like they're letting their womenly nature down! It's all rubbish! If people were more open and honest about the realities of pregnancy and life with children then it would take some of that pressure away! Being a mum is the most incredible job in the world ! It's an absolute blessing and and an honour to be responsible for developing little lives but it's hard work and there is no shame in admitting to that!"
Well done that woman! Why is it we all feel that it's our 'job' to sail through pregnancy perfectly? The question "how do you feel" is almost a challenge. If you were to reply "well awful, actually. I can't wait for this to be over..." you'd probably be met with stunned silence! But that's the truth of it.
Throughout the last three months of my pregnancy I suffered from severe pelvic girdle pain. Ok, it's not life-threatening but it was extremely painful. I ended up on crutches to get around the house and had to be pushed around supermarkets in a wheel chair. Not only was I given rude looks/questioning looks/"why do you deserve a wheel chair?" looks but I felt like a complete fool - like my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to be i.e. carrying a child! And yet we're embarrassed to admit it in public, to share with the world that all is not right.
Therefore, in the spirit of this blog I'm going to be the first one to say I did not enjoy being pregnant...
but being a mum is the best feeling in the world :)
Yup, I know the feeling! I loved that I was pregnant, loved feeling special and finally having a little one on the way. However the pregnancy itself wasn't exactly a barrel of laughs. Starting with morning sickness that carried on well into week 16, the second trimester however was a breeze. But when the third trimester kicked in it was a different story. Carpal tunnel syndrome, sciatica (which I still have now and my son is 9 months old), sore ribs/feet/legs and heartburn were all with me every day for the last few months. Not to mention feeling terrible about the way I looked when greeted with "look how fat you are/ oh my god you're HUGE!" Everytime I went to work, cheers girls, kick me when I'm down!
ReplyDeleteMy doctor actually told me I'd managed to get every non-serious but annoyingly painful pregnancy condition he could think of! Yet still I'd do it all again :)
ReplyDeleteTotally agree
ReplyDeleteIve had three pregnancies two of which gave me my beautiful children! However all three pregnancies have been stressful and in two of them my life was put at risk!
Even then I still felt like I should be glowing and blossoming and puttin on a brave I'm grateful face! Yes I was extremely grateful that I was pregnant when so many women can't be but that doesn't mean that women should smile in public and then go home and shed private tears because they are struggling! Being pregnant is a blessing and a privilege and for many ink ow they feel like it is the best time of their lives. However I do feel that if more people were honest about the not so easy and attractive parts of pregnancy then those of us who struggle wouldn't feel like such failures and wingers!
I am truly blessed with two of the most wonderful children in the world but I know that if children really did come from the cabbage patch I would probably be very tempted to have more!