There's a woman we all love to hate. She's in her thirties, has three kids, a full-time, high-powered job, a husband, a home, a gas bill, shops in Waitrose and still has time to get a manicure. She's the Mega-Mummy - a Jimmy Choo and Chanel-wearing mannequin of mystery. She's what we all aspire to be.
How she does it, we don't know. We simply gaze in awe as she ushers little Tarquin, Hermione and Pomegranate through the aisles of the supermarket with her blackberry glued to one ear and a very large diamond visible on the other.
I am not that woman.
I AM in my thirties. I DO have three children (well one, but it feels like three. Well ok, just a baby, actually), a husband, a home and a gas bill. I work all the hours of the day running my own business and can often be found with a blackberry glued to my ear in the supermarket. But I am Middling-Mummy. I'm half-way there. I aspire to greatness but can't have a manicure as I've nibbled all my fingernails down to nothing. I can't walk in heels any more and any dreams of Chanel would quickly be covered in baby milk. As for the supermarket - it's more Tesco's than Waitrose.
So where am I going wrong? Is it too much to hope to be Mega-Mummy and have it all? Or are we all constantly chasing an un-obtainable dream that our mothers have led us to believe is achievable. You know, when they said 'you're lucky you girls today, you really can have it all!'
Sorry mum. Not even us modern girls are that good. If I went to get a manicure, hubby would have to go without dinner. If Pomegranate and I went to Waitrose, we'd have to turn the living room lights off for a month to pay the bill. Don't get me wrong - I'm very happy with my lot. I just think we all need to be more realistic about what the 'lot' is that we're striving for.
And so to my blog. This is where I intend to spill the REAL beans of being a modern-day Middling Mummy. I'll tell it like it is. The no-holds-barred truth about pregnancy, birth and beyond. How to want it all, but not quite have enough hours in the day! And when you're having a rubbish day too or aren't feeling quite up to scratch, just come visit me and we'll have a moan together.
And then, over coffee, we could secretly plot a way to take down Mega-Mummy forever.
I would like to invite other middling mummies to post their own true stories about pregnancy, birth and beyond. Just email me at middlingmum@gmail.com and i'll upload your stories - anonymously, of course!
